What do you do when you commit a terrible mistake, a mistake that can’t be undone ? When your hands start to fumble, eyes carry tears but you’re not able to cry, when you know you’ve lost something which mattered, when you feel like your world has crashed in a matter of seconds.
You realize what you did, you realize the might of words. They either make or break someone. And if people break, they break relationships as well. You wish you could take back all, you wish you hadn’t said anything at all. But it’s too late for that now. Everything has turned into ashes and left you with a burning pain in your heart. No one will ever know, neither the person you’ve lost nor the rest of the world. It’s you who did it, it’s you who lost him, it’s you who will bear the pain for the rest of your life. The person you wished to preserve all your life is nowhere to be seen now.
How does it feel to be not liked ? Much better than to be rejected. How does it feel to be insulted ? Yes insulted. He never expected you to insult him. Why did you do it anyway ?
What ? You never intended to ?
But you did it anyway ?
See that’s what I said. Words. Watch your words, better taste them before you let them leave your tongue’s paradise. You said it yourself, how can you forget what you believed in ?
So you didn’t mean what you said in the way you said it ? but it did mean that way. The offense was taken and hence was acted upon. You could do nothing.
You started to believe him, you wanted to learn from him, you finally wanted to believe in god because of him. Why did you do it ? Why did you hurt the only person who selflessly made you so happy ?
I wish if only there was a way to take back what you said, to undo what you did. Alas! he’s gone. If only he knew that you never wanted to do what you did. If only he knew that you will never be the same again. You made a mistake. Mistakes happen. I thought the one who forgives is the one who knows that god forgives too.
Take a lesson and wish him goodbye if he never wants to come back. It’s his life, his decision. Improve yourself. Maybe he will be happy to see you changed for good. That’s the only way to redeem yourself of your deeds.